Mayo Smells Bad.

Look at the stars, look how they shine for you, and everything you do. It was all

MESSED UP?

con el amor, la paz y la mayonesa

Jon.

Number Lock.

How do you know if the pain is worth it?
How do you know if they still care?
How do you know whether the love really matters?
Or whether it is really there?

How do you know if you've made a mistake?
How do you know how you really feel?
How do you know that they aren't lying?
And that what they say is real?

How do you know when to give up?
And that the battle cant be won
How do you know when to let go?
The ropes that pull you to them have been undone

How do you know when its too late?
You cant go back in time
To change the mistakes that you have made
He will never be mine

How do you know how long to wait
Before you begin to let go
And now i must fight to hide
The feelings I will never show

How do you know that what you're feeling is real
Or whether they are all just fake
How do you know that your doing the right thing?
Or making a giant mistake?

Am I doing the right thing?
I really dont know
I must hide my feelings
I better not show

How do I know that I'm dying inside?
Or is it just childish fear?
Should I just give up right now?
Should I give up right here?

I dont know the answers
To all these questions
And nobody is even
Giving me suggestions

All I know is for some reason
I want to be with you
You may not feel the same, it may be wrong
Please know that these words are true

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



con pollo frito y aman la paz

Jon.

Now What Was That Mel Sent About Ants?

Congrats You You You, and erh, You.
I'm happy for you. I really am. =)

I will not rant about this.

con el amor, la paz y la carga total de toro

Jon.



Alley Cat - Sherwood

Oh I've been going through a hell of a time
Making sense of all that you left behind
When I arrange it into columns and lines
I always think it's adding up, but it never does
So in the morning maybe I'll be alright
And through the day I'll prepare for the fight
With a fever on a Saturday night
Cause this is giving me the shakes and butterflies, oh

And if you don't stop running you can never breathe
When everything you want is everything you see
But when it comes to decision baby, him or me
Well I hope you can feel the need

What made you an alley cat scratching me?
You dig deep with your nails and flash your teeth
And run off to where your next big meal could be
What made you an alley cat scratching me?
You dig deep with your nails and flash your teeth
And run off because you must be tired of me
Run off because you must be tired of me

And there's a scene I will always replay
At the moment when my hand touched your face
I could see your eyes turning away
But I've been standing my ground with you babe

And if you don't stop running you can never breathe
When everything you want is everything you see
But when it comes to decision baby, him or me
Well I hope you can feel the need

What made you an alley cat scratching me?
You dig deep with your nails and flash your teeth
And run off to where your next big meal could be
What made you an alley cat scratching me?
You dig deep with your nails and flash your teeth
And run off because you must be tired of me
Run off because you must be tired of me

And now I fall in love with somebody everyday
As they step aside when I'm walking by, or smile at something I say
But I promised you it would never get in the way
Of stability but the joke's on me
cause you were the one who got carried away
Oh, you got carried away
Well he carried you away, oh
Carried you away, oh
Carried you away
Carried you away

Make Awkward With Me.

Sometimes all we can do is hang on. When there's nothing, when the emptiness fills you, fills your thoughts, your chest, your heart, it gets harder to hang on. Chest like straw, heart like a leaden weight, empty, but with sharp edges that remind you of that lack. The emptiness that only the truly lonely know, the lost, the hopeless. Those souls who have lost everything and live to tell the tale, they know. All you can do is hang on.

Sometimes your hands slip, you lose your grip, but if you're lucky, you have someone in your life who holds you and them both above water. They hold you up, even though sometimes you wish they would just let go. Let you go. Let it all go. Let you drown in your misery.

Because the darkness has its own perverse kind of romance. There aren't love stories or movies about that kind of romance, but it exists.

The never hurt don't understand that. The once hurt/now healed know it, it's not one of those lessons you learn in school, or from your parents, or from a public service announcement. It's the kind of lesson that your parents pray you'll never know.

Hanging on.
Just hanging on. That's where we are right now. Just hanging on.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In short, life's on cruise control mode.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Song In My Head - Sherwood

Oh I don't believe it,
That I could be so deceiving
And bringing you down to feel this lack of loyalty.

You were a song in my head,
The warmth of the sheets in my bed.
A story forever told, but never old,
A warm arrival never left so cold.

Don't blink, don't close your eyes,
But most of all don't apologize.
It's me who's got the demons to wrestle now.

Oh I don't believe it,
That I could be so deceiving
And bringing you down to feel this lack of loyalty.

'Cause you were a song in my head,
The warmth of the sheets in my bed.
A story forever told, but never old,
A warm arrival never left so cold.

Don't blink, don't close your eyes,
But most of all don't apologize.
It's me who's got the demons to wrestle now.

There's a patch of blue in the stormy sky,
A memory of a brighter time.
When everything was new, and less watered down,
Before the summer turned to brown.

Don't say you can't believe it now,
That you're almost settled down,
'Cause you'll be right here,
When I come back around.

Don't blink, don't close your eyes,
But most of all don't apologize.
It's me who's got the demons to wrestle now.

There's a patch of blue in the stormy sky,
A memory of a brighter time,
When everything was new, and less watered down,
Before the summer turned to brown.

Before the summer turned to brown
(Don't blink, don't close your eyes)
Before the summer turned to brown
(Don't blink, don't close your eyes)
Before the summer turned to brown
(Don't blink, don't close your eyes)


con el amor, la paz y un panecillo de salchicha con huevo doble

Jon. 

"The Brilliant Dance" - Dashboard Confessionals

So this is odd,
the painful realization that has all gone wrong.
And nobody cares at all,
and nobody cares at all.

So you buried all your lover's clothes
and burned the letters lover wrote,
but it doesn't make it any better.
Does it make it any better?
And the plaster dented from your fist
in the hall where you had your first kiss
reminds you that the memories will fade.

So this is strange,
our sidestepping has come to be a brilliant dance
where nobody leads at all,
where nobody leads at all.

And the picture frames are facing down
and the ringing from this empty sound
is deafening and keeping you from sleep.
And breathing is a foreign task
and thinking's just too much to ask
and you're measuring your minutes by a clock that's blinking eights.

This is incredible.
Starving, insatiable,
yes, this is love for the first time.
Well you'd like to think that you were invincible.
Yeah, well weren't we all once before we felt loss for the first time?
Well this is the last time.

LTFP

Thank God I finally survived this week. Honestly? It turned out way better than i was expecting it to.

I've also learned some really valuable life lessons.

The drama's definitely not over yet. JPA oh JPA, why on earth do we have this love hate relationship.

Something someone said today made me really think about getting serious about my studies.
Its about time to realise that IS is no longer a temporary thing.
I've to get serious.
Right.

God help us all. Its gonna get interesting.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On a lighter note, the weekend is finally here and its gonna be refreshing.
I don't even know why but it feels that way.
I hope you and you feel better.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

saw this in Kaiwen's blog. Interesting huh?

con el amor, la paz y un abrazo. lo necesita.

Jon.

What's The Point Of Buying An Ipod?(yes, it has absolutely no relation to the post)

I went for a walk in a neighbourhood I used to live in,
the path that for thirteen years
I met with my thoughts,
I bared my soul,
gnashed my teeth,
hummed with abandon,
cried my eyes,
prayed with outstretched hands,
and dreamed and dreamed and dreamed-

something
about the dirt around the roots of tree trunks I have watched erode,
the place by the stone wall I can bury my legs in leaves,

things that look beautiful to me that aren't meant to be
like accidental paint spills on footpaths,
and peeling walls

like finding the familiar
weeds that whisper soft in the breeze,
golden light that hits the tree tops,

I could tell you when I first walked from my mother's house
out into this world,
when my feet were smaller,

I could tell how the houses have changed,
how the air is thicker
the trees that have grown,
the flowers that have bloomed,
the factories that have changed

I could tell you about a time
when I rode my bike every single afternoon
and created elaborate story lines in which I was
a spy; a British pathologist; a monk; a mother; a wandering gypsy;

but I will tell you this;
that for all our notions,
for all my disdain with the city
and the noise and grey -
beauty is everywhere you will look for it.

and that here
in the grass and dirt and concrete
there is a bit of my soul;
faint impressions of my feet against the ground,

and my heart
if you listen quietly
in the wind.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

With all this jpj jpa drama going on, deep down inside, I'd hate to leave.

If, I do get it. I'm realistic. I'm not a jump over the drain human. No offense.



con el amor, la paz y un mega mac

Jon. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is the ONLY version of Fireflies I like. Janice And Sonia FTW. =)


Btw, twin power eh?

I Cannot Stop Moving. The Day I Do, I Will Die.

Life is too short to be waiting.
If you die today.
Would you regret not living?

Why are we just floating?
Maybe it is time to drown.
Be part of the sea.

Be a drop of liquid
free from that lidded cup.
Immersed, but never one.

We are one.
Die. Live.
Release.

Woah, where did that come from.

Things are better now.

Lesson learned. Kinda.

Yea, definitely learned. I'm just too stubborn to admit it.

I think.

con la paz, el amor y el champán algunos

Jon.

I've Got A Spaceship In My Garden. Oh wait, I Don't Have One. A Garden That Is.

I can't avoid hiding. Its a urge to escape, anxiety.
And then regret. I want a place to go, but I just ran of it.
I want to feel home there, but there. I can't stay, can't control myself, end up running away.

Talk about mixed feelings.

During this last few days I now know I can add one more thing to the ever growing list of "Things I am not very totally not good at": waiting.

I wish things could go back to normal: jokes, spending time laughing and talking and a good friendship, seems this situation is killing all that at the moment.

I think I am damned if I do and damned if I don't.

con paz, amor y unos buñuelos de banano


Jon.


P.S.

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.

 -CS Lewis

We Shot The Moon. You Shot My Spirit.

Yep. It went EXACTLY as I thought.

Not what I wanted but, who am I to decide.

Please know that I will always be there. Pfft. What am I saying. You got my text.

God. I hate/love/hate/love/hate/love/hate/love/hate/love/hate/love/hate/love/ this town. =S

What was that about a ball of emotions em? =S

This makes it better. For awhile at least. (I remembered this band after seeing CRT's fb post)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------









Goyang Kepalamu - Kami Telah Menembak Bulan

Sway your head
Move your feet
Wake yourself from the sleep
If theres a day, theres a way
You can get yourself there
Golden smile, you got style
That they can't take away

Scream and shout, get it out
Before it swallows you
No surprise in these times
How it really gets through
All the walks and the thoughts
But can you break through?

You're alive
So alive
Now c'mon

You gotta pull yourself back together
Give it one more shot
Its now or never
With the new day falling for you
You gotta believe
(Woah)

Build a plan, yes you can
You've got nothing to lose
Look around, up and down
What are you gonna choose?
Can you see the sunrise
That came up for you

You're alive
So alive
Now c'mon

You gotta pull yourself back together
Give it one more shot
Its now or never
With the new day calling for you
You gotta believe
(Woah)

You gotta pull yourself, back in the water
Take in one deep breath
You're getting closer
After all you've talked and seen
You gotta believe
(Woah)

I think its coming back
I think its coming back
I think its coming back to me
(x2)

Now I, I feel I'm getting better
Now I, my world is getting better

You gotta pull yourself back together
Give it one more shot
Its now or never
With the new day falling for you
You gotta believe
(Woah)

You gotta pull yourself, back in the water
Take in one deep breath
You're getting closer
After all you've talked and seen
You gotta believe
(Woah)



con el amor, la paz y el café

Jon. 

Mamma.

Yep, its that day of the year when mysteriously, sons, daughters, and dads suddenly start appreciating our mum's/wives.

My mum kinda brought up something interesting today.

Mum|Me

Its good they have a mother's day

Some mother's don't get appreciated at all

Yea, what to do?

It comes with the job =P

Jon! >:x

Haha, kidding la

But true la, quite sad =S

Thanks for everything mum. =)

You know I'll always be/try to be a good son.

I <3 You.

mi mamá hace las mejores tortas de queso

Jon.

Why Do Bicycles Have Two Wheels?

"She Hates Me" - Puddle Of Mudd

Met a girl, thought she was grand
fell in love, found out first hand
went well for a week or two
then it all came unglued

In a trap, trip I can't grip
never thought I'd be the one who'd slip
then I started to realize
I was living one big lie

She fucking hates me
trust
she fucking hates me
la la la love
I tried too hard
and she tore my feelings like I had none
and ripped them away

She was queen for about an hour
after that shit got sour
she took all I ever had
no sign of guilt
no feeling of bad, no

In a trap, trip I can't grip
never thought I'd be the one who'd slip
then I started to realize
I was living one big lie

[Chorus]

that's my story, as you see
learned my lesson and so did she
now it's over and I'm glad
'cause I'm a fool for all I've said

[Chorus]

la la la la la la la la la love
Trust
la la la la la la la la la love
Trust
and she tore my feelings like I had none
she fucking hates me


Oh gosh, I miss this kinda music.
Lady Gaga and Miley have nought on them.


con el amor, la paz y una ronda de cervezas


Jon.

I Kinda Saw This Coming. How Naive.

I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies, that you've been living in
And if you do not want to see me again
I would understand, I would understand

The angry boy, a bit too insane
Icing over a secret pain
You know you don't belong

You're the first to fight
You're way too loud
You're the flash of light on a burial shroud
I know something's wrong

Well, everyone I know has got a reason
To say put the past away

Wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in
And if you do not want to see me again
I would understand, I would understand

And well, he's on the table
And he's gone to code
And I do not think anyone knows
What they are doing here

And your friends have left you
You've been dismissed
I never thought it would come to this
And I, I want you to know

Everyone's got to face down the demons
Maybe today we can put the past away

I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies
That you've been living in and if you do not want to see me again
I would understand, I would understand, I would understand

I would understand
I would understand
Understand

Can you put the past away?
I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
I would understand

I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
I would understand
I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
And I would understand

I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
I would understand
I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
And I would understand


con el amor, la paz y la crema mucho más hielo

Jon.

There's A Little Bit Of Ted In Everyone of Us

You drowned in the same ocean I am looking at now but on the other side of the world. I think about you still, and it's true that you have taken some part of me with you. And yes, my heart will never be the same. I think we both know that, wherever you are I know you do. But for so long I refused to accept this, to know that you were gone. I kept thinking it was just some other trip, gone indefinite, that you went to. That somehow you will come back for me. I wonder now if you knew for how long I have waited for you. Because I think you were the one.

I can't open myself to this again, and one thing I know without a doubt is that you will haunt me forever. I think this is for the best. Because this is my what-if. I am crushed by the possibility of it all but I am of the opinion that I would never have survived the reality of it. I still miss you but I've found myself going days and weeks and months without thinking about everything, or anything.

I found a picture of you and me today, and that's why I'm doing this. It has been far too long that I've kept holding on to the memory of you, to the world we both imagined and everything we could have had. But that world only has me now, and it has lived only half a life for many years. It is time to lay it down and cover it with earth. It's time to give it a rest, and you-- you need to sleep most of all. You need to be laid down to earth the most. I need to let go of you and all those beautiful dreams. 

But, what struck me the most was how that no matter how much I looked at that picture, i found it to be stained with fresh stains. Stains that come about as a result of the coffee we spilled fighting over something trivial. I also see blood, or is that just ketchup, or some random figment of my imagination that tarnished that perfect image i formed of you.

Argh. Yup, I made a right decision a month ago.

This Cannot Be Healthy - Anarbor

Breathe in deep for me,
'Cause I'll be there for you.
Don't lose sight of me,
'Cause I watch the old tricks.
I won't waste my time,
'Cause I'll be there for you.
So breathe in deep for me.

con el amor, la paz y un poco de helado

  

Jon.

Life Should Be Like A Hong Kong Drama

Yep yep. Its Sem 2. Feels alot like Sem 1. And that's not exactly fantastic.

Ended the holidays with a bang. No, more like two bangs. Erm, a bang and a punch.

So, Ip Man 2 and Iron Man 2. One makes you feel good and the other makes you proud as hell to be Chinese. Minus the tiny eyes. Go figure.

Life in the Sunshine Institute's nothing much to shout about. Its on cruise control mode.


Having a million problems on your mind and having none feel remarkably alike.

Urgh, back to Story Of The Year. And Maths(what's so freaking pure about it?).

For Ryu.


Sidewalks.

The bridges are crumpled,
The water soaks into rocks,
That fell at the bottom of the road. (At the end the town)
The town that we lived in.
The memories shaking apart from the weeds that grow.

Over the sidewalks,
Running away from the streets we knew,
Sidewalks,
Like the time we thought was made for you.
Or

Out on the front porch,
watching the cars as they go by,
Eighteen blue, twenty one grey,
Looking ahead for the first time that we could drive,
Out on our own,
To speed away

From the sidewalks,
Running away from the streets we knew,
Sidewalks,
Like the time we thought was made for you.
Or

All of days that past us by,
All of the sun is gone...
Away

Sidewalks,
Running away from the streets we knew,

Sidewalks,
Running away from the streets we knew,
Sidewalks,
Like the time we thought was made for you.
(Sidewalks)
The bridges are crumpled,
(Sidewalks)
The water soaks into rocks,
That fell at the bottom of the road.

con el amor, la paz y las bolas de pescado

Jon.

Retro Smetro

Yeap. That's one week gone/wasted/blown.

But. No regrets at all.

And yea, I'm still listening to the 90s.

EAGLE EYE CHERRY - Save Tonight

Go on and close the curtains
cause all we need is candle light
You and me and a bottle of wine
going to hold you tonight

Well we know I'm going away

and how I wish, I wish it weren't so
So take this wine and drink with me
let's delay our misery

Save tonight

and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow

tomorrow I'll be gone

Save tonight
and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
tomorrow I'll be gone

There's a log on the fire

and it burns like me for you

Tomorrow comes with one desire
to take me away it's true
It ain't easy to say goodbye
darling please don't start to cry
Cause girl you know I've got to go, oh

Lord I wish it wasn't so

Save tonight
and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
tomorrow I'll be gone

Save tonight
and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
tomorrow I'll be gone

Tomorrow comes to take me away
I wish that I, that I could stay
Girl you know I've got to go, oh
Lord I wish it wasn't so

Save tonight
and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
tomorrow I'll be gone

Save tonight
and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
tomorrow I'll be gone

Save tonight
and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
tomorrow I'll be gone

Save tonight
and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
tomorrow I'll be gone
tomorrow I'll be gone
tomorrow I'll be gone
tomorrow I'll be gone
tomorrow I'll be gone

Save tonight
Save tonight
Save tonight
Save tonight

con amor, paz y arroz con pollo

Jon.