Grr.

So here I am
At 5 in the morning
Still unasleep
Waiting for Saw2 to buffer on megavideo
Thinking about every single thing on earth
Except As exams.

Its not that I don't know what I want
Trust me, I know damn well what I want out of life
But somehow I'm just not motivated for it
I wouldn't say I'm disillusioned
I wouldn't say I'm sick of this monotomy

Life goes on perfectly well
It has it ups and downs
But in the end its mostly all right
Same old same old

It's just that sometimes
It feels like there's something missing
Something that makes everything else fit
Like how lovers' fingers intertwined in complex perfection
That spark that sets off a flame
In this room thats already saturated with accelerant

With or without that missing puzzle piece
Life still goes on
It doesn't make it any harder to live life
It doesn't make my day any worse

However
It can't be filled with materialistic fulfillment
It can't be filled with lust
It can't be filled with adrenaline
It can't be filled with alcohol

Could it be God?
Could it be the security of a relationship?
Could it be the fulfillment of life ambitions?

Honestly, I don't know
Its 5 in the morning
Correction, its 5.20
My brain can think and come up with anything
Except
A conclusion.
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Quod Facimus Id Perficimus
(SM All Saints school motto)
What We Do, We Carry Through

Jon.